In my “year of yes” craziness I took on way too much work this month. Right now I feel terrible neck pains and a lot of stress. I’m trying to be grateful for all the opportunities available to me but also need to find a better balance. Perhaps part of the reason why I’m doing too much is that I’m not trusting the universe enough to provide what I need. I need to trust that things will work out. Maybe trying to make 4 car payments by next month isn’t a good idea but I wanted so much to get rid of this pending debt that I’m driving myself to insanity and I’m sure it’s stressing out my friends.
Thankfully my friends in Buenos Aires keep inviting me to fun things and are good about checking up on me and my overly-stressed out, overly-US way of doing things. But the thing is, it’s hard out there for people who owe student loans. It’s hard out there for all of us. So maybe yes to work, as along as I don’t work myself to death.
Once again I got into an argument with a friend (The Boy from the Bus Stop), but he did mention making a few trips around Argentina in June and July. We cemented that we’re just friends and even though traveling with him scares me because we argue so often there’s an element about us that lets me know we’ll be fine and are good friends to each other.
Once again the point of this experiment was for it to be fun, but sometimes I feel it’s too much work and that I’m not saying yes to enough things even though I don’t even know what those things are supposed to be. But hey, this week I said yes to myself in a few areas:
- I spoke to someone who’s been avoiding me because I had to connect him to someone that will help him with a work-related project (long story here…)
- I ate buffalo chicken wings for the first time. This may not sound like a big deal but even though I grew up in the US I never ate such things and never really watched football, so it was a big deal for me. They tasted great but were very messy. For those who are curious about where one gets buffalo chicken wings in Buenos Aires, I recommend the place I went to, Chicken Bros.
- I downloaded Tinder and then removed it from my phone. Removing it was the yes part for me. I absolutely hated how it forced me to judge men based on a stupid picture. How is that supposed to help me connect to others? I know it’s worked for some friends and some people swear by it, if anything so they’ll at least have amusing stories to tell, but it’s not my thing.
A piece of me wishes I were more open about this experiment, but time will tell.
My friends from Mexico City came to Buenos Aires and this week we made tacos for my friends here. With me being the big idiot I am I invited the guy that I like to completely disastrous results (I’m exaggerating, but the results were not good and he probably thinks I hate him now). Needless to say he hasn’t answered my text, laughed when I told him about a really difficult thing in my life, and he’s probably angry at me. Other than that I think we both had a good time. We all ate well and it was hilarious watching my friends here try to eat spicy food, or do whatever they could to avoid it.
I decided to put myself out there this week by doing National Poetry Month totally in Spanish and emailing the poems to my friends. The thing about this is that such things often reveal more about the writer than the writer knows, but it’s time to let go of any self-censorship no matter how tempting. For some, sharing their poetry or writing isn’t a big deal, but these are friends from Argentina who hadn’t read my work because most of it was in English at first. Many of my friends here speak good English but didn’t understand some of the slang or wordplay and as a native Spanish speaker I felt it’s important for me to write in my native language even though English is easier for me. So that’s me putting myself out there for the world one way or another, trying to say yes to things that scare me.
(Since I was feeling terrible about the guy situation I decided to splurge and buy This Is House You Lose Her because shop therapy is a real thing).